


Remember Me As I Was

by kayskull



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Marriage that is Gay but Still Marriage, Non Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayskull/pseuds/kayskull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall wrote a book. Niall wrote a book about his life in One Direction. Niall wrote the epilogue and called his best mate, left a voicemail, "Liam, its Niall. I was wondering if you'd come visit me, you and the boys. Your number is the only one I still have. Let them know I need them here. Love you." Liam told them. They all came. They all found Niall - Niall and the book. The book was open to the last page. And now you can read the last page.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Me As I Was

**Author's Note:**

> This was just for a bloody project for school. "Where do you want your life to be in 30 years time" was the assignment outline, writing a 700 essay about it. So I wrote this about me, wishing I'd be some acclaimed author at some point, then finishing my career like this. Only... Then I decided "Hey what the heck, let's hurt the fandom." And here we are.

Nobody had seen it coming: the final chapter of our lives together. Just like this is the final chapter of the book I’ve been writing for 5 years. It’s helped to get the memories on paper, telling you the world of things I haven’t told a soul. When I set out to write this for you, I never imagined I’d tell you my life story, about my loss of love, or the beginning of something perfect. I never pictured myself coming clean about my sexual orientation in a book I’d never be around to see be published.

“ _We are sad to inform our fans that we've decided to go our separate ways_.” Harry’s voice echoed through my mind every morning for the last 5 years. The band was over.  
  
I haven’t set eyes on the lads since I flew to Ireland the same day we announced our departure from the pop music world.  
  
Wedding invitations came, and I never went. “ _I have to work_ ” was my excuse. And though it was true, I’m sure I could have gotten it off. But I didn’t want to go through that pain - seeing the boys who held every memory I held so close start a new phase of their lives. As you well know, I never found anybody. The band was it for me. It was all I ever needed. From the _X-Factor_ to disband on February 7th, 2033 I was happy, content. I didn’t have a care in the world other than the smiles on fans faces. With the memories I shared with you in the course of this book, I hope you understand just how much the boys, our team and our fans meant to me.  
  
I know this seemed like a coward’s way out, but I need you all to understand that these memories kept me alive for so long. I only have one wish from you, fans; readers; lovers, hold on to me when I’m gone. Remember every song, every kiss, every hug, and every photograph. Remember all the good times and the bad. Don’t forget the love we shared in my lifetime. Don’t look down at what I did as it was meant to happen this way. Remember that you kept me alive for so long. You kept me here. You kept me strong. None of this was your fault. Remember me as I was.  
  
Love,  
Niall James Horan  
 **September 13 1993 - September 22 2038**  
 **Taken too soon.**  
  
 **Final words:** By One Direction.  
  
We were saddened to hear about the loss of our wonderful leprechaun. This book was left on his desk in his home, waiting to be read. And after a lot of tears and painful nights, we read every syllable and turned every page. And now you can do the same. From our hearts to yours, we hope you remember the smiling, loud lad we do and miss him half as much as we have for the last 6 years.  
  
The boy we grew a bond with was not the same boy we watched get on a plane for his homeland seeking answers and love. We ask you to re-read this book again with care. Don’t mind the tears pouring from your eyes. Make a cuppa, start from the beginning. And remember our friendship for the love we had for one another so desperately back then.  
  
Love for Niall, Forever.  
 _Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik and Louis Styles_.  
  
 **Final note:** By Liam Payne.  
  
Niall James Horan will be dearly missed by our millions of fans around the world. But none will miss him as much as us. We will hold the truth forever that we were called upon to find him, by himself because he didn’t want the world to think we didn’t care. We did though. We always will. Niall Horan was the love of my life, though he would never accept me. Or so I thought until I read this book. I want the world to know that if Niall had opened up to me about his preference, I would have stood by him. I would have been here the rest of time even if he didn’t want me.  
  
 _I’m sorry._  
Liam.


End file.
